Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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