The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
