hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
