I cannot find my penis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
