bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
