what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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