remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
dude. I can hear the air.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize