Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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