it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
