Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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