Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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