Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize