i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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