dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
