new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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