I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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