Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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