if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
