You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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