I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
