I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
