you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
