So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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