WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize