chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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