Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize