Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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