Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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