I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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