You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
