Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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