i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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