I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just google imaged poop.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize