sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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