Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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