Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
