That's intense
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
