hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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