just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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