we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize