my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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