i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she pinky promised me she was 18
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
