He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
