if you like me you must not know who I am
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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