i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
