rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I didn't notice because vodka
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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