Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You have to summon your inner elephant
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
