Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
third nipple confirmed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
