So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
