we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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