This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
