duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
