I wanna passion pit in your ass
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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