i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
