I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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