Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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