I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
