Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
