Duck Duck Cougar?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Randomize
