i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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