she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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