So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
