Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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