And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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