and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
