I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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