I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
