a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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